Smartphone Resolutions

You do this every year to start the New Year but never really get around to seriously taking steps to take it seriously. You can do with a piece of friendly advice: Narrow down your list to a few specific things you can really accomplish without losing much of whatever’s left of your self-respect. Take the case of the way you make use of your smartphone. All the bad habits you have regarding the use of it, remember? It’s about time you addressed the issue by being truly resolute about it. Try connecting with your conscience this time and listen to what is says. And it says, “Repeat after me…”

  1. No more new smartphone purchases this year. You knew how wrong you were the minute you got the one you have right now about four months ago. For one, you now have to buy new accessories since the old ones won’t work with that new smartphone. The guys at Apple changed all the ports, that’s why. You’ve been herded like sheep again and you know it. One look at the brochure and they got you at hello. It was downhill from that point and goodbye, big bucks for you. This year you pay for all your mistakes. Here’s the consolation: No more money to buy a new smartphone.
  2. No more fussing around with game apps while at work. That’s cheating and stealing. You are being paid to work and accomplish tasks. So what if you’re caught in the middle of a boring meeting? Who cares if no one’s looking? There are business productivity apps you can use instead to make you work and accomplish tasks faster and more efficiently. Junk the Angry Birds app now.  Play on your own time not the company’s. Be professional.
  3. No more fussing around with social media while at work. That’s cheating and stealing on a bigger scale. You are wasting precious time better used for business productivity. You are also wasting business IT infrastructure on non-work related activities inside the office. Most of all, you are stealing and cheating the company out of time and the monthly salary they pay you.
  4. No more getting into arguments with fandroids. You may be right but who knows they might be better? They use their smartphones for work, you use yours for what? In the first place, it’s all a matter of personal choice. Mind your own business.
  5. No more taking stolen snapshots of other people’s cleavages and booties. You think it’s cool or funny but it reveals a side of you not so desirable and cool. In fact, it’s terribly distasteful, bad, impolite, disrespectful, politically incorrect and an invasion of other people’s privacy and therefore — illegal. Yes, it’s a crime in case you don’t know.
  6. No more texting while driving or walking. It’s dangerous and illegal to text or make and answer calls while driving. You put yourself and others in harm’s way. Fatal accidents have happened owing to this careless disregard of appropriate mobile device use. Stop doing this!
  7. No more neglecting voicemail messages. This is work-related and you should be prioritizing this above all those useless things you do to while away work time you shouldn’t really waste. Stop treating voicemail as an afterthought. It’s about time you gave it as much attention as early morning email and fax.
  8. No more making broken promises. This year, make it a point to faithfully accomplish all your New Year’s smartphone resolutions. You’ve been through this for the last couple of years. Haven’t you memorized them yet?!